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the party faithful

by shoney lamar

/
1.
it's awful. that's all. it's my brittle bottled fault that i made the puddle wet. yeah i get the puddle wet. sniff little drips, sneeze and cough the treetops off, yeah i cough the treetops off. yeah i cough the treetops off. tell mother nature that i hate her. so i stomp the flowers down, yeah i pound the flowers down. i wasn't ready. she got ahead of me. so i build more landfills, yeah i fill up the landfills. doctors, come. distribute shame. diagnose me. diagnose me. the murder concept. the words were honest. and she said not to stop but i come when they watch. dinner didn't sit well. we had no advil. so i burst at the seams. yeah i burst open and scream. doctors, come. distribute shame. diagnose me. diagnose me.
2.
last stand of the average man, i need you. come and do the dishes with me. damn shame cos i think i could change, but i'm in chains, i shouldn't have to shimmy. young guns from the florida sun. we're just kids, but we're chips off the block. you can pay but the fact remains our friends say we do it better off the clock. and how you feel depends on where you sit, stand or kneel. and where will we go? oh, i just don't know. how come it gets so cold whenever you get home? waist deep in a stinging sleep, i found myself, i was right there up top. i stayed just in case it would change, but the stop sign could only say stop. chainmail on a proper female, only gentlemen are welcome inside. big brains and erotica fangs. i guess it's strange only you and i tried. and how you feel depends on where you sit, stand or kneel. and where will we go? oh, i just don't know. how come it gets so cold whenever you get home? i just want to please people. people, please let me please people. please.
3.
oh, something's vividly amiss. a toothy twisted lipless kiss within my sloppy solipsis. the thrill of lies. the final breath that death defies. the rolling of eyes, the big breathy sighs, the rest will suffice, that's if we get out alive. i can't stop fucking up, i can't stop fucking up. i tell myself "lord knows that i tried." but i know there's no lord. i know this. of course. i let the fury immerse me. the foreground and distance as only one instance, it's only one instant, insistent, efficient, against and within it. this will only take a minute. love a body like it's something succinct. like it won't go extinct and shrink. pink stinks exactly as bad as you think. bloody as a body is. the promises are ominous. i can't stop fucking up, i can't stop fucking up. i tell myself "lord knows that i tried." but i know there's no lord. i know this. of course. none of my friends live around here. is this going to end and when?
4.
the lights went dim. we know it's either her or him. now choose your own murder mystery. use your own electricity. bruise the big-hearted brains. make the red light mistake. let the symbolism kick in. let the schism begin. a sequence of sloppy seconds begins the endless life lessons. it's quick: you go through some shit, then you're better for it. it's quick, it's sinister. nobody sweetens the deal. nobody's there to care that you feel extremely real. now everything's a drag. tag. you're out. this is the infamous part. don't let it pull you apart. (shoop shoop) you face the corner but it faces you back. it laughs, it makes eye contact. you were your own better etcetera. forget your friends, you're better off. no benefits, no sex at all. you bring the weakness within the system. now let the schism begin. a sequence of sloppy seconds begins the endless life lessons. it's quick: you go through some shit, then you're better for it. it's quick, it's sinister. nobody sweetens the deal. nobody's there to care that you feel extremely real. now everything's a drag. tag. you're out. this is the infamous part. don't let it pull you apart. you feel so shameful. you feel disabled. you break the table. you riddled with the abyss. expensive parties, can't trust nobody. i lost my codpiece. the kid is lean. he's hungry. he's singin "shoop, shoop" it's quick, it's sinister. nobody sweetens the deal. nobody's there to care that you feel extremely real. now everything's a drag. tag. you're out. this is the infamous part. don't let it pull you apart. a sequence of sloppy seconds begins the endless life lessons. it's quick: you go through some shit, then you're better for it. shoop shoop. shoop shoop.
5.
world class 03:16
come quick, disrupt. down is easily up. the gravity attack, you can remember that. took five years, but i'm finally fine. i show up right on time. right on time. wake and ache, and just wait for the cigarette break. then my attitude gets mad at you. get lost in thought and rot in uncomfortable lies. i show up right on time. right on time. i can't take any credit. never been level-headed. blew my chance, let's just dance, let's just dance, c'mon. world class, you shoulda let me die. let me die. bloodstain the couch, is there a doctor in the house? can we do the tests, and hope for the best? quick to dismiss this sick twisted pantomime. i show up right on time, right on time. i can't take any credit. never been level-headed. blew my chance, let's just dance, let's just dance, c'mon. world class, you shoulda let me die. let me die. let's lie and say it wasn't like me. let's try and try to do it nightly. let's dance around the bones. frightening! oh no! they look just like me! i don't wanna have to face the coroner. i don't wanna have to face the coroner. i don't wanna have to face the coroner. so what if i arrive in disguise and try to play nice? i show up right on time. right on time. so what if i'm able to cradle my little lies? i show up right on time, boss. right on time. so what if i rust into just combustible dust? i show up right on time. right on time. right on time.
6.
the big bed, the big brush off. blood red, the covers asunder. big picture-perfect circle. whole day with no trace, a cold case. big brains that just can't recall. review the scenes that seem see-through. big brother's watching PORN. be not ashamed. let it burn. let it burn. let your abstract apathy become ashes in the street. be reborn. become the deformed performer from before. restore distorted disdain. let it burn. let it burn. let your abstract apathy become ashes in the street. be reborn. like a cat nuzzling a gun barrel, i will become kittenish. finally a product that consumes the consumer. sold out. we are indeed what we eat. let it burn. let it burn. let your abstract apathy become ashes in the street. be reborn. you attempt to butter me up but i prefer you hot and bothered. let us ensue like hilarity, like long gruesome history. the eager brain is what it eats. kurt cobain is all we are.

credits

released January 18, 2019

all songs written, recorded, and performed by shoney lamar.
mixed and mastered by shoney lamar.

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shoney lamar Concord, North Carolina

he loves to do excercise regularly and also tells others to do that

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