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always be my joker

by shoney lamar

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1.
knockout 02:19
i can do my own, i can do my own what a knockout, in her fur coat lookin like bigfoot got me by the throat, feet danglin i was in love, i was in love, i was in. feet danglin from the stranglin i'll never hang again quite so well had to tell everybody "i'm in love! i'm in love! every body! everybody! i'm in love! i'm in love!" i can't do my own
2.
angel of the AC never say moo. i might be crazy, howbout you? i might make babies, like 1 or 2 i got these savings, tell me what you want me to do. i remain exchangeable, untrainable, obtainable, a tiny house that's available. all my brothers have a long tongue. and we all started from the bottom rung. but we strutted up, up. autopsy turvy, we been cuttin it up. K, that's the shape of what happens so happy stabbings. description without deception or desperation: my destination. somethin mysterious goes on underneath those baggy clothes. small potatoes, she was a real man tho, a stand up dude, we coulda got a lot done together. at least until we got fed up with each other. thought maybe i would see the future, but all i see is furniture. a fortune telling deserter. ha, i'm the dead horse i'm flogging. everybody gets their 15 minutes of self-actualization, then its back to hesitation. hair dyed black and caught in my pearls that i'm clutching. castanets, overdressed. habitat: sooty dust that erupts. i adjust if i must. cannibal cannonball across the chasm. open wide. always be my joker, i'll always be much broker than you, a handful but yr gonna need 2 hands
3.
good sports 03:21
ooh, poolside, waiting for the mosquito welts to subside. upside down on the diving board. fingers barely skimming the surface, oh, another worthless suntan. waiting to get comfy again. you said my eye rolls fervent and feverish, but not peevish. something to believe in. sommethin to be with. somethin stutterin beneath it, but who dares saunter past the cookie booth? good sports! short shorts yeah you know the sort, c'mon. good sports! short shorts yeah you know the sort, yeah you know a captive cold audience. a cockroach that won't flush. and if i get into a car crash like the tarot lady said, if i'm in a coma, lookin stupid, don't let them cut my hair. good sports! short shorts yeah you know the sort, c'mon. good sports! short shorts yeah you know the sort, yeah you know where you goin? come back. alrite i'll be right here waitin, waitin, demonstratin for my friends, for my real friends. i don't mind it, i got animal mind. i need a sitdown, damage is considerable, i won't let go baby, i won't let go. nooooooo
4.
ask me if i love ya. c'mon c'mon i guess i wanted to spit on her grave. wanted to pick up another babe. but i made a mistake, what was i thinkin? i'll never get out get out "give me one more try" she said and i'm like, "gimme some more time" what was i thinking? i mean, i KNOW what i was thinking. i tried, but i'll never make it out alive. i slammed the door, she was already outside. let me start this in the wrong sense so we can get on with the rest of our lives "give me one more try" she said and i'm like, "gimme some more time" nincompoop! big ninny! yea you know how it goes, she looks like the guys from at the drive-in; she's just my type. but i gotta like live with her. and she's always asking, "do you love me?" and i'm like come on! fuckn look at me. i look like a piece of burnt toast with no jelly.
5.
lil reina 02:48
little miss, i'm miserable enough. and when i'm gone incinerate all my stuff. the cucarocha kid, i'm stayin alive. i'm good, i gotcha but i'm takin a 5. i need a breather not a melody. don't call me heater man, i'm negative 3. sleep with the fishes, insufficient funds i do the dishes if you do run run. i don't wanna go to sleep but i'm already in this bed i gotta get a little rest the rest of it will fall in place if i just stay still it's gonna be alrite, rite? reinita come thru do that thing she do at the busstop in a gunfight kick the dust up in the sunlight threw that hair back laughin. still dunno what happened. looked like uma packin. found my humor lackin. was it open handed? if i understood it, why'm i still so stupid? how'd i get rite thru it? how'd i get so ruined? reinita do it. ella lo hizo hagala dios! i don't wanna go to sleep but i'm already in this bed i gotta get a little rest the rest of it will fall in place if i just stay still it's gonna be alrite, rite?
6.
skeletease 03:02
merry melodies, skeleton keys, skeletons scattered out, pressin on, possibly. pardon these pithy pop songs. enemies, jealousies, penalties, dead kennedys. feedback flashback pitch black, positive, fall flat, imagine that photographic memory: looked like penny century, my favorite foldout. perfect fingers, perfect singer. rigid rictus affliction, affection affectation. bad abrasion. brazen bankrupt blank check. trainwrecked, trampled. for example- exhaustive, unresponsive, underwhelming, undeveloped. quite a get up all a set up, but you get back, get out, fuggedabout it, go ""ga ga ga" photographic memory: looked like penny century, my favorite foldout. perfect fingers, perfect singer. me and the flies. me and the flies, why do we even try? perfect singer.
7.
picture this 03:00
picture this: we call you blondie, but yr a brunette. we call that irony. what you do next is beyond me. i got 2 dicks keepin an eye on me. i dunno who it is that did the hiring, but they're ruthless with their private eyeing. and i can't move it's just fine with me, and the truth is not surprising, and the proof is in the icing. i got a toothpick, do my own prying. and youse a good kid, but you been lying, and i'm too stupid, i just do the right thing you caught me. never said that i look good or bad, or half as good as that. i'm thinking things, i gotta keeo you i can change, i can explain myself, i suppose. but no one could do it half as good.. now get to this: messy memories. cease and desist. stop sendin me greasy gifts. i'm not some 17 femme fatale bacchanal, not at all. let's not mince words, just pick one lousy one to paint a picture, or like a thousand of em. like a thousand of em, minimum. i'm drowsy, it's 1. i'm lousy, i'm done. you caught me. never said that i look good or bad, or half as good as that. i'm thinking things, i gotta keeo you i can change, i can explain myself, i suppose. but no one could do it half as good..
8.
freckaface 04:19
if we wanna get paid, put yr freckleface on film, in yr yellow peacoat, run yr running boots red on a daylong playdate. cept we gotta get laid and waste away in our fluids. absonot, absonot. look who's leading the way. listen to you-know-who oh, we better get ghost. ah, seedy repetition. it dudnt matter who are really real. say something with yr veins pumped full, pumped full, pump, pump it up pump pump ah na na tina, yr the number 1 one. you got yr automobile, you got yr honorable man. yr braggin just a little bit, but nobody minds. put yr freckleface to mine. put it on a billboard, we can drive by, drive by, yea call yr mother oh we better getter get go oh seedy repeition oh it doesnt matter who are really real, say nothin say nothing til you hear from me. and you probly will. i been busy.
9.
nobody sleepin but the baby. nobody f-ckn wake the baby i've gone to listen to the moon, it's a show nana na na. nody sleepin but the baby. nobody better wake the baby. we got a leak, got a leak inside our boat anana na na nobody sleepin but the baby nobody finna wake the baby sometimes i think about you dying and all i'll have left is these recordings nobody's sleepy but the baby, chain the dog up, cuz the baby, this is why we put up storm shutters, here comes the rain. i wrap something around my throat. i want my skin to feel unalone. are you ready? i'm ready. i musta said somethin again when i think of you when you die and all the everythings that you will take with you and all i'll have left is these recordings, so i'll press thru it

about

recorded at the suzio in concord, NC
mixed and mastered at the aptse and the suz

recorded mostly between august and october 2021
but tinkered with sporadically until march 2022
and finalized june 2022

that's it. i think that's it.
no wait,

peck fixed one of the songs for me (for us really, for all of us) september 2022

that's it.
has it been a year already?

credits

released October 7, 2022

recorded, performed, mixed and mastered by shoney lamar

except
"sweet tabborine" reduced by chris peck at the lovely heights gala vie

all songs and lyrics by shoney lamar
copyright 2022. all rights reserved.

distributed by tank roober r*c*rds

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shoney lamar Concord, North Carolina

he loves to do excercise regularly and also tells others to do that

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